Natural Hair Wars: What IS Natural and What Is NOT?

So, I was reading a post the other day on a hair forum and someone posted about how someone stated that people who put styling products on their hair are not natural. Hold up! What? The poster went on to say that her friend was saying that people who naturally have curls shouldn't have to put products in them to define them. She went on to share that her friend felt that natural is a big, dry afro with no product. Hmmm... Interesting. After reading this story I went on to think about what exactly do we mean by "natural"?

Before I talk about what I define as natural, I must digress back to my relaxer days, so we can compare. Every 6-8 weeks I would be patting my hair waiting for the time when I could get to the hair salon and get my touch up. I could feel my roots, which were puffing up and coarse unlike the rest of my relaxed hair which was straight. The two textures would battle it out before I could get my touch up and straighten my kinks into submission. I could smell the pungent odor of the relaxer. When my stylist parted my hair I could feel the "slap, slap, slap" of the brush as she applied the relaxer to my new growth. After so many minutes I could feel the burn and sometimes fire on my scalp before it had to be rinsed off then followed up with a neutralizing shampoo. This was a cycle that I followed since middle school up until 4 yrs ago when I decided to let my hair grow naturally.

So, now that brings me back to the definition of natural. In the natural hair community we have two schools of thought. There is the school of thought that believes natural is to wear the hair void of any relaxers. This means simply that whether you straighten, henna, or color your hair it is still natural because you're not using a relaxer. Then, there is the other school of thought that believes to alter the hair in ANY way using heat, color, or henna, etc then you aren't natural. Well, I belong to the no relaxer then you're natural school of thought. All those rules just simply make no sense to me. I'd rather keep it simple. If you're not using relaxer and you've transitioned, then that's your natural texture.

How many times have I encountered a Negative Nelly? Probably more often when I first transitioned. The comments were more geared toward asking me why don't I cut my hair then anything else. It's interesting how YOUR hair can become a topic of someone else's conversation. I remember one time someone asked why I wear scarves on my head so much and am I religious. I simply said "Because I like them." I could've done a variety of things, which brings me to dealing with the natural "Nazis".

I've come up with a short list for battling the natural hair wars and triumphing over natural "Nazis".

When someone wants to put THEIR own opinion on what you do with YOUR hair you can choose ONE or MORE of the following responses:

#1. Smile and say "Thank you". Sometimes idiots just need love. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness.

#2. Look through them and don't say anything. The dummy will be wondering why the silence is so deafening.

#3. Look up at their hair and make a weird "what is that face". This will have them trying to think what is going on with their own head.

#4. Laugh and change the subject. The old blow off usually works and the clueless ninny won't realize that you just basically told her to have a seat without actually saying it.

#5. Say "And this matters because?" Look the person dead in the eye and act like you're waiting for a response. If they do respond interrupt and say "Dang, I gotta go do something. Buh bye!" Now they're standing there looking stupid or if they're on the phone all they hear is silence.

Readers, how do you deal with the Negative Nellies and their comments about YOUR hair?