For Colored Girls Who've Considered Perms When Natural Isn't Enough

Too often veteran naturals forget what it was like to be newly natural or transitioning and frustrated with our hair. We have come a long way from having to figure out what works best, which regimen, and why can't my hair do such and such. So, if you've NEVER considered relaxing your hair then this article isn't for you. However, if you've had an occasional (or even frequent) battle with whether to stay natural or relax, then read on!

The elephant in the room is that sometimes natural hair CAN be difficult. Now many naturals won't admit it, but natural hair can be difficult to manage. I say difficult, because just as in life, there are often times short cuts for difficult tasks. Do you really need to have a 5 hr wash session? Are all those products REALLY necessary?

All these rules on top of rules CAN be annoying! Buy this kind of shampoo and conditioner or don't use this styler but that styler. Trim your ends this many months. Don't ever flat iron your hair. Well, here's the thing. It's YOUR hair. If you want to use sulfates, silicones, and petroleum do it. No one is sitting at home holding your products hostage.If you want to make every single product that you use and only use all natural ingredients, then nothing is stopping you.

My semi blown out hair.

Not every wants to be a mid back length or waist length natural, who never straightens her hair. If you're happy to stay at TWA length, wear weaves, or flat iron your hair, then why not? See, here's the thing. You have the option to use what you want, do what you want, and rock the style you want. No one can tell YOU what YOUR hair wants and needs.

If your hair is having perpetual dryness or hair breakage issues then examine your routine. Natural hair is not immune to issues, just as relaxing your hair won't solve this issues. In fact, relaxing your hair can actually exacerbate the problem and further damage your hair. You can't hide from the truth. If your hair is uncontrollable as a natural, then a relaxer might somewhat mask the issue, but what happens when your hair shows the damage and more damage comes?

Natural hair is FUN and VERSATILE, but if you're style challenged then it's going to be a long, difficult hair journey. Many of the complaints that I see from transitioning or newly naturals is trying to find styles that they can do and maintain. Knowing what is right for YOUR hair takes research. The same is true if you relax your hair and need to get the right style to fit your face and personality. Unless you have absolutely no hair, you STILL have to style it in some way. Go beyond YouTube and also research hairstyles in magazines and on hair blogs. There are SO many styles to do once your hair reaches past the TWA stage.

This is not an anti relaxer article. This is a get real moment. You must understand that IF you chose to relax your hair, then please do it for the right reasons. It's not about having to choose sides. It's about what is right for you. If you have decided that natural has reached it's end point for you, then fine. If you have decided that you like changing your look, then fine. But, please don't discount the hair that the Almighty gave you and dismiss it as "bad". You would be surprised at how many cancer patients would love to the hair you feel isn't good enough. Hair types aside, I've seen all kinds of hair and do you know the most beautiful and stunning people have the loveliest personalities to go with it? We all can look beautiful, relaxed or natural. it doesn't have to be a "pissing" contest. Whatever you decide, choose to be happy.